Sunday, September 30, 2012

A Broken Child


I can't take it!

As each look at me,
And every comment
Leaves thin cuts
That burn more as time lapses.

As everything I do,
And every effort I make
To become what I dream to be
Is regarded as nothing but failure.

As the candles of hope
Light up my soul,
Then blown out
With every whisper of jealousy.

As all my rage,
And all my sadness
Are seen as mere
"Breakdowns and Ravings."

As all I truly want,
And all I seek
Is nothing but
Silly childhood needs.

As all I am,
And all I became
Is nothing
But a lost memory.



© A Furious Child

2 comments:

  1. you still need to work on your choice of vocabulary, you need poetic words. for example, the word "regarded" can be substituded by "esteemed" or you can say in your line " to become what i dream to be is regarded as nothing but failure"= " to pursue what i dream to be is gazed upon as failure,, nothing more"
    the theme of the poems are nice, however, the choice of words does not give it enough sparkle

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  2. +Sophie Saad Thank you for your comment :)

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