Happy Family

I'm TIRED of accomplishing the best for people other than myself!

I'm TIRED of giving EVERYTHING and RECEIVING nothing!

I'm TIRED of being pushed around and ridiculed!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that only cares about what other people think!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that uses me as an excuse to hurt each other!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that wants me to be PERFECT!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that makes comparison where there aren't any!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that doesn't see the good in me!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that doesn't accept me for who I am!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that is selfish!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that is never satisfied!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that imprisons me!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that sees me as a burden!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that doesn't want me!

I'm TIRED of being in a family that HATES me!

I'm TIRED of my family!

How about yours?

© A Furious Child

Lost Memories

Where did our love go?
I have been in love before,
And I know I will love again,
There's a memory of a man I once met.
A child still in a Summer's evening.
Running freely with him and a lost friend.
Chased around every corner of that, once, mighty house.
I remember him still.
His brother, ill,
watched us as we made our ruckus of pure joy.
He called me in and asked me to breathe_
Breathe what?
The air was clear, sweetened with the warmth of the sun.
Breathe what?
My heart was beautiful, fragile, untouched.
Breathe what?
My life was simple and happy.
I had all I needed!
Parents who loved one another still.
Brothers who held me in their hearts so lovingly.
"Breathe this moment," he said,
For it will never be again.
True was he,
And true was his premonition.
How can one child be accurate about a future unknown?
How can I be a fool to fall for the lie of that lost friend?
Oh, my lost friend,
She took my friendliness and love to assault me.
Over and over again, she made me cry.
Manipulated by her cruelty, I had nothing left.
Now I know, I will never see that friend again.
How can he know that love would live in my broken heart?
Soothing my pain, I remember
A sweet Summer's evening with
That psychic boy on a wheel chair,
And his running elder brother.

© A Furious Child

My Lesson

I am feeling that pain again.

My heart won't let me be happy,

Though I try to make him understand

How much I AM trying my best to care about the smallest details,

To comfort him, to listen, to understand.

He won't forgive me.

Hell, he doesn't love me  anymore!

All my attempts are in vain…

How can I find him again?

How can I be with him?

How can I make him understand that I love_

That it has nothing to do with him…

That it's all because I changed.

I'm not the same person anymore.

My love and innocence has left long ago…

I have become like this because of what others_

They had destroyed the loving part in my soul!

They have smothered every bit of purity in my heart.

I had become this numb because I'm afraid_

Afraid to care, afraid to love_

Afraid to feel more than I already do…

I intensely have it all in,

And they hurt so much that I want to howl in agony.

I know he hates me_

I hate myself even more,

For other than hurting him,

I hurt myself by becoming like them.

© A Furious Child