I know I am not the most beautiful person, that is if I have beauty at all!
I am not the smartest, the most creative, or the charismatic person either.
And I know there are others who do think likewise.
However, I am a firm believer that every person on this land is unique in their own way.
And sometimes I wonder what is special or good or attractive about me.
Am I the sensual person that I think myself to be?
How can one just let out something that is killing them slowly from the inside?
How can one let everything out without consequence?
Is that even possible?
Can one simply say what they truly feel just to try saying it out?
I am such a selfish person!
I can tell that when I observe how some people are open to give all they have to others.
Like mothers, for instance; they are more than willing to give up anything for their children.
I've always known that I could never be a mother, at least not the mother I wish I had.
Right now, I finally understand why I had that feeling creeping up inside me.
The uncertainty of everything around me is met by the one certain aspect of my character:
I never want to be fully responsible for the life of another human being!
Yet I still wonder sometimes about what I hear from other people who never had children.
They say it was one of their greatest regrets.
Will I regret that too as I grow older?
I am not the smartest, the most creative, or the charismatic person either.
And I know there are others who do think likewise.
However, I am a firm believer that every person on this land is unique in their own way.
And sometimes I wonder what is special or good or attractive about me.
Am I the sensual person that I think myself to be?
How can one just let out something that is killing them slowly from the inside?
How can one let everything out without consequence?
Is that even possible?
Can one simply say what they truly feel just to try saying it out?
I am such a selfish person!
I can tell that when I observe how some people are open to give all they have to others.
Like mothers, for instance; they are more than willing to give up anything for their children.
I've always known that I could never be a mother, at least not the mother I wish I had.
Right now, I finally understand why I had that feeling creeping up inside me.
The uncertainty of everything around me is met by the one certain aspect of my character:
I never want to be fully responsible for the life of another human being!
Yet I still wonder sometimes about what I hear from other people who never had children.
They say it was one of their greatest regrets.
Will I regret that too as I grow older?
© A Furious Child
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