My Lesson

I am feeling that pain again.

My heart won't let me be happy,

Though I try to make him understand

How much I AM trying my best to care about the smallest details,

To comfort him, to listen, to understand.

He won't forgive me.

Hell, he doesn't love me  anymore!

All my attempts are in vain…

How can I find him again?

How can I be with him?

How can I make him understand that I love_

That it has nothing to do with him…

That it's all because I changed.

I'm not the same person anymore.

My love and innocence has left long ago…

I have become like this because of what others_

They had destroyed the loving part in my soul!

They have smothered every bit of purity in my heart.

I had become this numb because I'm afraid_

Afraid to care, afraid to love_

Afraid to feel more than I already do…

I intensely have it all in,

And they hurt so much that I want to howl in agony.

I know he hates me_

I hate myself even more,

For other than hurting him,

I hurt myself by becoming like them.

© A Furious Child